Resignations are like divorces! Or, are they?

Resigning from your job is like going through a divorce. Some might argue about which one is tougher. But that is not our topic of discussion today.

Some senior professionals are resignation veterans and have no trouble going through the process without much trouble. But for most others the entire process can be a stressful, emotional and sometimes traumatic experience.

Here are a few tips on how you could smoothen this entire transition out of your current company.

1. The resignation letter - this is the first step that triggers of the entire process. In most cases it is advisable to have a chat with your manager/ boss about your decision before hitting them blind-side with an email resignation, especially when you or your manager is on a vacation!
(More on this in the next post!)

2. Preparing for the reactions - this is something that most people are least prepared for. There are a wide range of possible reactions that you could come across. And it helps to be mentally prepared for them.
Some of the possible scenarios could include :

a. Extreme displeasure - this catches most people by surprise. The reactions could range from being immediately escorted out of the building by security, to a verbal lashing by the manager, to cold hostile treatment by the entire team, to outright refusal to help with your resignation.
Some managers would even go to the extent of trying to jeopardise your move by speaking to the people in the company you are moving to.
These reactions can never be planned for and can be traumatic if you were not expecting them.

The best way to deal with such reactions would be to
- inform the hiring manager in the new company so that they are aware of the situation
- exit as quietly and as quickly as possible
- not get locked into a verbal/ mail duel with your manager/ colleagues
- take legal advice if contractual obligations are not being honoured or if statutory requirements are not being addressed eg. relieving documents, sign-offs, etc.

b. Emotional blackmail - this is usually witnessed when you have been with the company for a significant period and have built strong relationships within the organisation, especially with the senior management.
You are suddenly made to feel guilty about abandoning the company mid-way; and you are also told about how critical you are for the company's future and how the management has a lot of plans for you and your growth in the company.
Handling this is completely a personal choice. But if you are very clear about moving on then it is best to stand your ground firmly and handle the pressure gracefully and sensitively.
You could best demonstrate your appreciation and concern by helping plan and execute a smooth transition.

c. The counter-offer - this is a common response to most resignations, especially if you are a critical resource for the company.
There is no right way to respond to a counter-offer. But the most important point is to be appreciative of the overtures and to deal with the entire exercise in a sensitive manner so that people are not offended or hurt.
If you are very clear about moving on, then it is best to be upfront about it so that you do not get drawn into multiple discussions on the counter-offer which will only leave the current employer feeling offended and rejected.
And if you want to accept the counter-offer then it is best to inform the new company and the hiring consultant as at the earliest possible.
It is important to keep a few points in mind during this entire process :
- why did your company wait for your resignation to make you the counter offer? Does it mean that you were not able to establish your true value during the appraisal process? Or does it mean that your company doesn't value its employees adequately?
- will your acceptance of the counter-offer cause resentment among the management and your peers? Will they feel arm-twisted or black-mailed? That could then reflect in the way you are treated in the organisation.
- will the hiring consultant/ company feel that you were never serious about joining them and only used their offer to negotiate better terms in your company? This could affect your credibility in case you would ever want to go back to the consultant/ company.

d. CYA tactics - this is also a typical reaction if your current manager/ superior feels that his/her credibility with the management would be affected or that his/her performance would take a hit because of your resignation.
Your resignation has now created a problem for your manager which he/she now has to fix. A replacement has to be identified and the performance gap has to be filled.
He/she also, most likely, has to explain or justify to the management about your decision. And it is far easier for them to explain your exit if they can present you in poor light. Which usually explains the nit-picking and fault-finding with your work during the notice period.
There is not much you can do here, except staying calm and working on an agreed list of deliverables before your last day. It is important for you to ensure that you also get an agreement on the items to be delivered by the company and ensure that you get a closure on these items.

e. Balanced acceptance - this is one of those rare things that happen to a few people whose stars are aligned and who have built up considerable good karma! Here the manager/ superior understands that you have made up your mind and gracefully lets you leave after a quick transition.

3. Serving the notice period - during the notice period you should keep a few points in mind.
- make sure you do not bad mouth the management, company, managers or peers
- stay focused on leaving on a good note
- agree with your manager on how you would go about informing your colleagues and clients
- give a balanced and honest feedback during your exit interview
- make sure that you have made a list of paper-work to be completed and get it completed

I realise that there are many more aspects associated with a resignation. Divorces are never simple or easy. But thinking through your resignation and being mentally prepared for different scenarios would definitely help in smoothening the process.

Please send in interesting or traumatic resignation experiences that you would like to share. Also let me know if there are any other aspects of the resignation process you would like me to cover in my next post.

Avoid 'shot myself in the foot' disease!

I was recently meeting some candidates for a fairly senior-level position in a client company. One of the candidates just didn't show up for the meeting. This was after some mail exchanges, a confirmation mail and a calendar invite sent from my side.


Image: Phiseksit / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 After waiting for about 10 minutes I tried calling this person's mobile phone. I was disconnected the first time. When I tried again, his wife answered the phone and informed me that he was 'unwell' and therefore couldn't answer the phone!

Now you would say that it is possible that he was really so unwell that he couldn't inform me in advance nor could he ask his wife to send me a message requesting for a change in schedule. But he well and truly shot himself in his foot by not making any attempts to contact me after this incident to apologise or to request for a reschedule.

He was obviously not interested in the role, but because of the way he dealt with it, he obviously faces a good chance of getting black-listed by most hiring or search firms.

Many senior-level people sometimes tend to do similar serious 'shooting their own foot'. And this can badly dent your credibility and image in the job world. Its a very small world out there!

Here are some things you can avoid doing and save yourself from the 'shot myself in the foot' disease. (Most of these sound obvious, but its amazing how often we see people ably demonstrating them!)

- There is nothing wrong in turning down an offer if you are not convinced about the company or the role or if the compensation package doesn't match your expectations.
But what is a clear 'no-no' is indicating your interest in the role, discussing the offer in detail, negotiating the compensation and then doing a disappearing act! Many professionals go through this process to negotiate a better deal with their current employer without realising the long-term impact of such actions on their credibility in the job market.

- And sometimes some job-seekers disappear in a similar fashion, but land up in a completely different company. And the search consultant and the potential employer have been kept in the dark about this possibility. This too reflects poorly on the individual and over time he loses the trust of hiring managers.

- But I think the worst of the lot are individuals who have accepted the offer letter, agreed on a joining date, and have constantly engaged with the search consultant and the hiring/ business manager throughout the process, and then have not showed up on the day they were to join. And they have not given any intimation to anyone about their change of plans! (This is literally like shooting yourself in both your feet!)

Some of the other minor symptoms of this disease include :

- Not showing up for the interview
- Turning up late without bothering to inform the relevant people
- Misrepresentation of information
- Providing fake documentation (eg. experience certificates)
- Bad-mouthing their previous managers/ colleagues/ companies

(This is only a representative list. I would like you to add to this list based on your own experience with people with this disease!)